From : Terry Scott
Date : 13 March 2000
To : Jesus Christ
Subject : Re: Crikey!

Thanks, Jesus! Following your advice, the short-sighted vicar made a pass at me - and when he found out I was a man, he became so flustered that he didn't even notice that one of the girls fell out of the attic and started sliding down the bannister. Spot on - I'm now the local arcala!

However, this creates another problem. I can't find where the showgirl who dropped out of the attic got to, and my boss is coming around for dinner. The thing is, my boss is an outrageous gay stereotype, and if he finds out that I am not a sitter-on-the-upturned-stool, he will pass me over for promotion in favour of that weightlifter he keeps seeing out of the window.

What can I do?