In the end, I went back to Heaven. I hopped onto a cloud and flew back up into the sky. Sometimes I think back to my time on Earth, and I think to myself what fun I had with the spunky mortals. I think of Steve, who tested me and burns to this day, I think of the Devil, who now writes sarcastic letters to The Mail On Sunday. Not only are the pool tables a quid a pop, but there's a two pound deposit on the cues. Which speaks volumes for the clientele around here. I knew that "I'll see what I can do" thing was a smokescreen. It's always the same.