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JENNIFER, MY GIRLFRIEND, GETS PISSED AND CONFESSES
AT THE AMBASSADOR'S PARTY TO HAVING TERRIBLE WIND

Jennifer | Hello. I'm Jennifer. Are you the Ambassador?
Consul | No, I'm a Consul.
Jennifer | Is the Ambassadoré around? I've got him a present. And it's not Ferrero Rocher, either. I bet he gets that all the time.
Consul | No, he doesn't. Posh people don't do jokes based on television adverts. We have other TV channels, and we've never heard of The Bill. And no again, he isn't around. He's in his room, dealing with a delicate matter of international relations. One of the Chinamen used a joke hand-buzzer on a Moslem.
Jennifer | I'll do it. They just want their heads knocking together.
Consul | I'll pass on your recommendation.
| [a big, wet flobberchops bloats from underneath the table]
Jennifer | Oh, bless you vicar! Blimey. That was a bit scandalous, wasn't it? Still, I'll bet you've heard it all in your position.
Consul | Never stated with such rich aplomb, madam.
Jennifer | Are you making a pass at me? 'Cos I have to warn you, I am quite firmly attached.
Consul | Oh, dear. My heart just fell out of my arse, and has died on the floor.
Jennifer | You are making a pass at me. I must insist - this is awful. If I suck your penis will you promise not to have sex with me?
| [a staccato papper shears the air]
Consul | That was you, again, wasn't it?
Jennifer | Fraid so. I tried to keep it in by pressing my bottoms together, but it must have found a crack I don't know about. It's this fizzy wine you keep giving me, you terrible man. The bubbles all wait in my tummy and then fly out of my bottomses when I'm not looking.
Consul | Is that the Duchess? I do beg your pardon, I must walk away from you now.
Jennifer | Stupid fucker. Hello, are you the Ambassador?
Admiral |

Balls! Balls to this bloody web editor's efficiency at publishing my half-finished files! Well, you'll just have to have an under construction page, and a half-arsed title. It's not my fault. Blame FrontPage, and the fact that I have to go to work in ten minutes.

I believe the proper amount of exclamation marks is three. So, this page is

under construction!!!