A recent fad over at OUTintheUK has been to post on their boards with "Would you VERB the previous poster?"

Seriously, they've hugged the previous poster, discussed sexual roles with the previous poster, said whether they would go on dates with the previous poster... it's been a sickening merry-go-round of heartbreakingly lame attempts to flirt.

So I joined in. Read on, Macduff! (I did A Level English you know)

Subject: The previous poster... Ref: 2033042
From: (log) on Thu 11/03/04 12:45

OK right, the previous poster walks into the room. And you're kissing the poster before that. With tongues if you're on an even numbered post. You invite the previous poster in, and you're all like... making out.

Then a wall parts, and it turns out that ALL THE OTHER POSTERS ON THE THREAD were watching. And the one six posts previous runs up to you and slings cum in your face, and you realise that the person who is going to post next is actually your father.

REACTIONS PLEASE?

Subject: Re: The previous poster... Ref: 2033044
From: (log) on Thu 11/03/04 12:46

So the next person who posts will be snogging me while I walk into the room. How hot is that?

Subject: Re: The previous poster... Ref: 2033048
From: (log) on Thu 11/03/04 12:47

OH GOD IT'S ME! I'M KISSING MYSELF WITHOUT TONGUES! AND I WALKED IN ON MYSELF!!!

Nobody else post to this thread. I'm having a sexy time.

Subject: Re: The previous poster... Ref: 2033058
From: (log) on Thu 11/03/04 12:50

I'm going to cordon off this thread and post until there's a huge crowd of me watching me get up to three-way no-good monkey business.

Starting unpopular threads has its advantages. With sexy consequences.

Subject: Re: The previous poster... Ref: 2033068
From: (log) on Thu 11/03/04 12:52

*Log enters with a monkey wrench, ostensibly to fix the photocopier but sporting an inappropriate erection*

Subject: Re: The previous poster... Ref: 2033078
From: (log) on Thu 11/03/04 12:56

I AM NEVER GOING TO STOP POSTING TO THIS THREAD

Subject: Re: The previous poster... Ref: 2033084
From: (log) on Thu 11/03/04 12:58

Oh God. I've just realised I'm my own father. Six times. That means I must have inseminated myself when I ran up to myself and flung spunk into my eye.

I think I'm going to have to masturbate now.

Subject: Re: The previous poster... Ref: 2033103
From: (log) on Thu 11/03/04 13:05

Great-grandfather Log is now using sex powers hitherto unknown, and using brain-kinetics to levitate spunk bubbles like mercury in Zero-G.

I'm not sure I like the latest generation of me, however. I think the cloning process is causing some genetic degradation.

Subject: Re: The previous poster... Ref: 2033105
From: (log) on Thu 11/03/04 13:05

Oh JESUS. There's mutants now. I've got FLIPPERS!

My beautiful dream has become a NIGHTMARE.

WHAT HAS SCIENCE DONE?

Subject: Re: The previous poster... Ref: 2033106
From: (log) on Thu 11/03/04 13:06

I'M ENJOYING MYSELF. IF YOU TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME YOU ARE WORSE THAN HITLER.

I am such a loser. Please, somebody, kill me.