| When I was fifteen, I wrote my first parable. I wasn't very good at it, but I soon got loads better, as the bits of me that are Godly became better developed, and hairier. This is my first parable. "One day, in Assyria, there presided a court of pigs, who were ruled over by a grumpy Labrador. The jury were a bunch of barn owls, who were surprisingly unwise in their decisions, and the clerk was... oh, the clerk was a stoat, or something. Anyway, one day, the Labrador's wife left him, because he was rubbish in bed and never did the washing up. And the judge in his divorce proceedings was a poodle who had been locked up many years before by the Labrador for being a really shit kind of dog. So the poodle gave everything to the Labrador's wife, and she spent it all on guns and hay." It's a really bad parable, I know. For one thing, there's no sex!