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Now With Added Me
HaywireCyberMasturbation

Finally. I have succumbed to making a "photos of me" page. This page is only to help remedy the somewhat psychotic photo on the front page. Not only can I look like a child murderer, you will see that I can also look like a confused hippy, a jazz cat, and a complete dick. Come this way. You caught me with a goatee beard. I don't always have one. I just get bored very easily, and shaving takes so very long....
Oh, yeah. And about those sunglasses. They're not mine. I was just wearing them a lot that day.

| ### Very Cool Indeed Yessir. This photo proves without doubt both that smoking is sexually attractive, and that sunglasses worn indoors at night may be less practical, but oh! the style! What's going on in my mind here? Well, I'm thinking about how sexy and stylish I must look, and how much everyone else must want to be like me. Note the ash - only one in twenty-five people can smoke a cigarette until it is half ash. I am one of the blessed few.

### Not So Terribly Cool, Really I went to New York. That's not a boast, I'm sure you've been somewhere nice yourself. If you haven't, then you may someday. Perhaps you will win a game show. No, the reason I tell you this is that they have "Combos" over there. Combos are foul little nuggets of salty kack filled with cheese substitute. The only thing they are truly fit for is stuffing up your nose and in your ears. Note the peak of hair that allows me to do convincing Ming The Merciless impressions. And yes, I did put them back in the bag afterwards. Then I gave them to a homeless person. |

#### So there you have it, boys. The two faces of Log. Suave culture cat, hip to the groove scene, jazz to the utmost. He lolls to Lounge music and mutters fashionably about the crippling ennui that is endemic on the New York music circuit. Then there's the bloke who stuffs Combos up his nose. The funny thing is, though, I don't actually wear sunglasses. I'd rather squint.

It has come to my attention that Combos are now available in England. I don't care. I just wanted you to know that I'd been to America. Classless wanker that I am.