Photos Of Me
With My Friends

| Here is a photo of me with another lady. That crazy vicar bitch put her pen up my nose! I don't even think she knows I am there - but it really hurt! I think she may be angry at me because I was sick in the font when I was christened there. When she put me down to clear it up I pooed as well, and it got in her hair. Meanwhile I was rolling around in the font - as babies do, you can hardly blame me - as if I was some kind of shit and puke baby kebab. It was her first ever Christening!

When people are getting married, I like to run up behind them and go "Boo! Boo, you bastards!" This is a great picture, because it is just before I shout "Boo!" I got bits of white dribble on their backs, because I got quite excited and little bubbles kept coming out of my mouth. Then I made a victory snort that I wasn't expecting, and they noticed I was there. So I had to shout "Boo!" really quickly before they saw me. I compensated for the lack of surprise by screaming at the top of my voice, and kicking them in the shins. Crazy mad. |

| Here I am out with the boys. They are crazy boys. We get up to no end of stuff. Like that time we went to the nightclub and danced to a song that we didn't really like, just to take the piss! That was so hilarious! And then we went to a kebab shop afterwards, and Dave used his "I am making fun of your accent" voice, where he presses his nose in and says "Donner meat and chips mate no Acropolis in mine please and hurry up I am not in the Hanging Gardens of Babylon here." He is so crazy! I wish I was like Dave. Everybody likes Dave. I like Dave so much I put make-up on for him. But not too much, because sometimes it's what you don't put on that makes the difference. Like knickers. I wasn't wearing knickers! When we were playing pool, I made sure everyone got to see my ladychops up my dress. Try before you buy! Not that I'd ever cheat on Log, I love him so much.

I do not know who any of these people are. They were just there when I woke up. I think Dave may have drugged me (which explains the state of my face) and left me in their house. He is too crazy sometimes - I don't think I approve. (I am touching the boy behind the sofa's bottom! I am pretending it is for leverage, so that I can get up, but in reality I am giving it a squeeze!) |