Emeagwali, standing in front of the blackboard on which he invented brown lasers. | SCIENCES OF THE EVERYWHERE #1 THE MOST SCIENTIFIC MAN IN THE WORLD This is Emeagwali. He is the most scientific man in the world. He's fist-bitched Alan Turing into next Wednesday, and has fwapped his finger over the lips of Stephen Hawking, saying "Aw, what's the matter? Too scientific for ya?" Emeagwali claims to be so scientific that after jogging around the block, he'll wipe his sweaty forehead, and there'll be equations on the handkerchief. And every equation points to the same, inevitable conclusion. Where x = Emeagwali, Emeagwali is number one. He is married to a lady, who is also a scientist. "She wasn't a scientist when I met her, but the first time we made love, after my teeth clanked and the LEDs in my pupils lit up, and ticker-tape came out of my mouth. When we read that ticker-tape, it was an honorary degree from the University of Science, awarded to my wife! Do you want to see Emeagwali ejaculate? Do not cower from the spunk-face of science. To see exactly how scientific Emeagwali is, you may visit his website, where he tells you in no uncertain terms how scientific he is, you unbelieving motherfucker. You see? He really, really, is.
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