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THE H FILES

| The diary entries ran a little like this.... APRIL 14th I had that dream again last night. I woke up on the kitchen table with my cousin Helen, and I saw a suit of armour on the stairs, which dropped an axe, so I went outside to see what was going on. I walked downstair and I was in an empty pub in the middle of the night, and their was this can of Spaghetti Bolonese on the bar, but the can said Boglonese, and all this smelly poo was coming out the top. I walked around and the front door crashed open and all these pigs came running in and they were wearing hats and shirts and trousers with pockets all over the legs, and they ran straight past me. They had guns too but they didn't shoot me, they just waved them around and shouted at me. Then I looked up and saw my bedroom which was falling really quickly onto me, and when it landed I woke up. I don't like this dream. It isn't really scary, but I have it all the time, and I don't like going to bed anymore. APRIL 15th I listened to Steps first album before I went to bed and I had an ace dream about a talking car. I wish I had the second album too, but we are too poor.
WILL IT WORK?
+ It is, in fact, a real dream that I had when I was seven. I had it every night for a week. I used to live in a pub. + Irresistable honesty. | - Written on a business diary - unconvincing? - Is reference to pub too precocious? - I am clearly looking to scab a free copy of the 2nd album....